I am in distress. Deep distress.
My mind keeps playing the scene over and over again as to what I possibly could have done differently. I have lost something-my umbrella.
Okay so before you jump to some conclusion thinking this blog’s simply wasting my time,what a silly thing to write about or let’s move to the next one, let me justify myself by asking you a question. Have you ever lost something that might not be valuable in expense but priceless due to sentimental reason? A gift from someone or anything that you called yours?…let’s not mess around. Okay, we all have.
So I’ve had this umbrella for more than five years and that’s awfully a long time. What’s more interesting is that it was given to me by my grandmother as a gift. It was expensive and it was sturdy. It survived the rains and wind.Worst of all, I’d forgotten it several times, in my college, at my friends places but it always seemed to have found it’s way back home.So it was an everyday story when I climbed in the bus, kept my umbrella beside me and took out my paperback and started reading until I reached close to home. That’s when I all but forgot whilst reading to check on the bus-stops.By the time it took me to realize that I had to get down the bus was already starting to leave.I threw my bag over my shoulder and book in hand I ran to the door and got down. One minute of walk and I froze.The book in my hand had replaced my umbrella which made me completely forget about it.
I was stunned.I looked back at the empty road.I opened my bag thrice only to find it empty. It was so mine, that I started to feel a part of me had gotten lost.There was simply nothing I could do.My entire day was filled with regret.
That day I realized something. There are more severe losses that people go through. Not just materialistic things that they lose, it’s the people close to them that suddenly pass away.I would always think that it’s just a state of mind when people go all blank and cut out from the world when they lose someone, that if we think about it as just phase of life we all have to go through and forget about it as it happens then maybe it won’t hurt so much and that these are just false emotions that we must gain control over.
Maybe these are the repercussions of my thinking.No matter what-so-ever I thought, in practice I did fail.Our emotions do take control over us and that’s why I’m shocked. I’d never thought I would react this way, feel so empty (for a short time) when I lost something!I certainly was sure to have a control over my feelings and emotions. But we’re just humans. Loss is loss, however great or small. Great sufferings such as when the people close to us suddenly pass away or small sufferings like in my case my pal for 5 years, my umbrella ,we do feel sorry internally and even though we we might act to have control over our emotions and play tough, we are humans after all. Underneath it all, we do care, feel sorry and have our regrets.